“Futurama” is the ultimate adult cartoon. Sometimes childish humor written by a team of comedy writers with multiple masters and PhDs between them, and the…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local alternative music fan Devin Entmacher credited his life being saved by art rock band Radiohead despite him actually being rescued by…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Aging tricenarian Colleen Myers admitted to being surprised by the sheer amount of conversations she is having about acquaintances passing when catching…
We all know that ketamine is actually for horses. Well, technically for various veterinary and medical uses, but mostly horses. Still, humans have been enjoying…
Is there anything more boring than a funeral? You might as well get shitfaced while respectfully expressing your condolences. Thanks to your shitty genes, family…
While stepping up to the grind and getting that bread is the most important thing a chad can do, it may feel more difficult than…
WASHINGTON — Republican lawmakers today broke ground on a new memorial to not commemorate the insurrection riots that took place in and around the Capitol…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Local woman Kirsten Russet decided to rescind her “out” status as bisexual following online rumors that Paramore is breaking up, sources confirmed.…
It’s a normal problem: your friend brought you to this exclusive sex party, but you want to listen to Sufjan Stevens. Suddenly, you’re in a…
There is an energy coming from the kitchen counter. I’m not hungry, instead feeling the familiar light giddiness and slow rise of my roommate’s special…
JERUSALEM — The Israeli government and Hamas agreed to a humanitarian ceasefire after the IDF realized needed time to receive more missiles from the United…
NEW YORK – A recent Bloomberg report announced that Taylor Swift’s wealth is now an estimated $1.1 Billion, after her record-breaking Eras tour and left…
So you’re seeing someone new, and it’s been going great! Except for one thing: your chemistry isn’t as strong as it was during the honeymoon…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Legendary ska act Mustard Plug are combining forces with adult products behemoth Adam & Eve to collaborate on the most obvious…
LAS VEGAS – Patriot Sound Technologies unveiled their latest pedal collaboration with Five Finger Death Punch guitarist Zoltan Bathory, which accuses any user who tries…