Thrash Metal Fan Listens to Doom Metal Records at 78 RPM
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local thrash metal fan Zack Holloway reportedly plays doom metal records at 78 RPM in a desperate…
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Tim Sheard — Page 8
167 stories found
Democrats Give Book of the Year Award to “The Let Them Theory”
WASHINGTON — The Democratic Party announced their plans to respond to recent political upheaval by awarding the Book of the…
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Wokeness Gone Mad? I Had To Specify My Preferred Pronouns on This Sex Offender Registration Form
I’m old enough to remember a time when freedom of speech meant something in this country. Nowadays, our culture has…
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Man Who Spent 40 Minutes Talking About Steely Dan on First Date Confident It Went Great
DALLAS — Local man Dave Hensley is confident that his first date with Rachel Caldwell went well, despite talking about…
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Oh Wow, We Were Way Off! Eric Clapton Just Revealed “Tears in Heaven” Is About His Struggles With Porn Addiction
We at the Hard Times are big classic rock fans, and it definitely shouldn’t surprise you that one of our…
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5 Side Hustles That Almost Make You Forget You Have To Work 85 Hours A Week To Make Ends Meet
So you’re still living paycheck to paycheck despite having a degree and 15+ years of work experience—it’s probably time to…
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Texas Republicans Introduce Bill Requiring Parental Advisory Stickers on All Guns Sold to Minors
AUSTIN, Texas — GOP lawmakers from the Lone Star State introduced a bill requiring parental advisory stickers be placed on…
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Congress Amends Rules So Caretakers Can Vote on Their Behalf
WASHINGTON — Congressional lawmakers reached a new bipartisan consensus to allow their caretakers to vote on their behalf, confirmed sources…
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Cop Infiltrating Far-Right Militia Just Happy to See Colleagues Outside Work
AKRON, Ohio — Officer Brian McCarthur of the Akron Police Department shared his delight at seeing work friends while infiltrating…
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Harvard Lab Makes Breakthrough Discovery of First Attractive Polyamorous Couple
BOSTON, Mass. — Harvard scientists studying modern American relationship dynamics made a breakthrough discovery by identifying the first conventionally attractive…
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