Con Artist Gives Up On Dream and Becomes Con Accountant
CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa — Local man Vincent Metcalf quit his longtime dream of becoming a con artist to become a…
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Tim Sheard — Page 8
138 stories found
Elon Musk Has Bright Vision of Future Where Humanity Thinks He’s Worst Person on Multiple Planets
BOCA CHICA, Texas — Local businessman and investor Elon Musk presented his clear vision of the future where humanity thought…
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Tim Walz Debating Chatbot Trained Entirely On Your Uncle’s Social Media Feeds In Preparation For Vance Debate
NEW YORK — Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz recently revealed that he has been practicing for the debate with J.D.…
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‘Check Engine’ Only Light in Woman’s Life
BATON ROUGE, La. — Local woman Georgia Luenette was stunned to notice that, aside from the ‘Check Engine’ light flashing…
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I’m the Guy Who Billy Joel Saw Fuck His Tonic & Gin, AMA!
It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday, which is the time of the week I get particularly randy. My name is…
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Estranged Influencer Couple Agree to Stay Together For the Algorithm
CHARLESTON, S.C. — Estranged husband and wife lifestyle influencer couple known as “The Wilsons” announced they had reconciled and agreed…
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Conservative Who Has Been Complaining About Grocery Prices Says Harris’ Price-Gouging Ban is Communism
WHEELING, W. Va. — Local conservative Jerry Wardmore repeatedly stated that Vice President Kamala Harris’ proposed ban on grocery price-gouging…
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Yes, Lord Vader: Ranking ‘Star Wars’ Characters By How Kinky They Would Be
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, kinks were very much alive and well. The struggle against…
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Custom GWAR Bidet Sprays Fake Blood and Cum
RICHMOND, Va. — Banished Scumdogs of the Universe and legendary heavy metal band GWAR are reportedly planning on releasing a…
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M.I.T. Scientists Announce Discovery of First Zoom Meeting To Begin Without Awful Small Talk
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Scientists at M.I.T’s prestigious Zoom Studies Lab reportedly identified the first online meeting to begin without terrible,…
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