Custom GWAR Bidet Sprays Fake Blood and Cum
RICHMOND, Va. — Banished Scumdogs of the Universe and legendary heavy metal band GWAR are reportedly planning on releasing a…
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Tim Sheard — Page 9
143 stories found
M.I.T. Scientists Announce Discovery of First Zoom Meeting To Begin Without Awful Small Talk
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Scientists at M.I.T’s prestigious Zoom Studies Lab reportedly identified the first online meeting to begin without terrible,…
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On a Budget? Here Are 10 Retailers With No-Chase Policies
It’s 2024. Inflation has hit all aspects of the economy, corporate layoffs continue in mass, and Red Lobster’s bottomless shrimp…
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Nation’s Coworkers Announce Plans To Hold Long Conversation Directly Outside the Bathroom Where You’re Currently Taking a Dump
RICHMOND, Va. – The nation’s coworkers reportedly resolved to hold an extended conversation in the general area outside the employee…
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Muted Mics, No Audience, and the Immediate Execution of Both Men Involved: How CNN Is Revamping the Debate
To quote President Joe Biden, we’re in uncharted territory. The 2024 presidential election is shaping up to be one of…
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Feminist Ally? This Man Wants a Woman To Beat Him Up
Meet Kevin Buchanan, a self-identifying feminist ally who also holds the record for the most hours that someone has ever…
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25 Father’s Day Presents From Spencer’s Gifts That Will Make Your Dad Say “That Place Is Still Open?”
The abacus. The dodo bird. The shopping mall. It’s natural for aspects of everyday life to become extinct. Luckily, your…
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Israel Shows Support For Western Culture By Committing Mass Murder At School
CENTRAL GAZA — Israeli government officials confirmed that the bombing of a UN school in Gaza, which was carried out…
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Help! My Friends Keep Setting Me Up On Blind Dates And It Ends Up Being Nosferatu Every Time
After celebrating another engagement within my friend group, I realized that there was something missing in my life. So I…
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Opinion: As An IDF Soldier Tasked To Train American Police Officers, I Should Also Be Allowed To Kill Unarmed Civilians While I’m There
Nothing brings me more pleasure and a sense of purpose in this world than serving my country. Even if that…
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