I’m the Guy Who Billy Joel Saw Fuck His Tonic & Gin, AMA!
It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday, which is the time of the week I get particularly randy. My name is…
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Tim Sheard — Page 11
167 stories found
Estranged Influencer Couple Agree to Stay Together For the Algorithm
CHARLESTON, S.C. — Estranged husband and wife lifestyle influencer couple known as “The Wilsons” announced they had reconciled and agreed…
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Conservative Who Has Been Complaining About Grocery Prices Says Harris’ Price-Gouging Ban is Communism
WHEELING, W. Va. — Local conservative Jerry Wardmore repeatedly stated that Vice President Kamala Harris’ proposed ban on grocery price-gouging…
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Yes, Lord Vader: Ranking ‘Star Wars’ Characters By How Kinky They Would Be
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, kinks were very much alive and well. The struggle against…
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Custom GWAR Bidet Sprays Fake Blood and Cum
RICHMOND, Va. — Banished Scumdogs of the Universe and legendary heavy metal band GWAR are reportedly planning on releasing a…
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M.I.T. Scientists Announce Discovery of First Zoom Meeting To Begin Without Awful Small Talk
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Scientists at M.I.T’s prestigious Zoom Studies Lab reportedly identified the first online meeting to begin without terrible,…
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On a Budget? Here Are 10 Retailers With No-Chase Policies
It’s 2024. Inflation has hit all aspects of the economy, corporate layoffs continue in mass, and Red Lobster’s bottomless shrimp…
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Nation’s Coworkers Announce Plans To Hold Long Conversation Directly Outside the Bathroom Where You’re Currently Taking a Dump
RICHMOND, Va. – The nation’s coworkers reportedly resolved to hold an extended conversation in the general area outside the employee…
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Muted Mics, No Audience, and the Immediate Execution of Both Men Involved: How CNN Is Revamping the Debate
To quote President Joe Biden, we’re in uncharted territory. The 2024 presidential election is shaping up to be one of…
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Feminist Ally? This Man Wants a Woman To Beat Him Up
Meet Kevin Buchanan, a self-identifying feminist ally who also holds the record for the most hours that someone has ever…
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