Tim Sheard, Author at HARDTIMES

Total Showoff Doing Dry January Without Court Ordered Supervision

January 18, 2023

SEATTLE — Ostentatious little showboat David Farrow is spending all of January completely abstinent from alcohol without the looming threat…

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REPORT: Unclear if Friend of 10 Years Actually Likes You

December 30, 2022

PRINCETON, N.J. – Researchers at Princeton University concluded a nearly decade-long project which yielded inconclusive results regarding whether your long-time…

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How To Get in the Holiday Spirit by Reminding Your Family Jesus Would Have Been a Socialist

December 25, 2022

It can be difficult to get in the holiday spirit as an adult. It can be difficult spending time with…

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Christmas Harsh Reminder of Family Members Who Are Still With Us

December 24, 2022

SAN FRANCISCO — Local punk John Adler is one of the unlucky few who will be leaving his comfortable life…

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Help! I Accidentally Listened to Christian Rock and Enjoyed It

November 20, 2022

Upon arriving in Tennesee for my friend's wedding, I found myself cruising down the road in a rental car, blasting…

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FBI Agent Reveals Mar-a-Lago Safe Cracked With 0000 Combination

August 12, 2022

PALM BEACH, Fla. — FBI Agent David Abramson revealed he was able to gain access to former President Donald Trump’s…

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“I’d Like to See a Social Worker Do What I Do,” Says Cop Who Does Nothing

May 29, 2022

DURHAM, N.C. — Local police officer Chad Bixby vocally opposed the redistribution of police funds toward social services at a…

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Real Life ‘Christmas Carol?’ This Woman Was Texted by Three Pale Men From Her Past on Christmas Eve

December 24, 2021

Charles Dickens’ 1843 novella A Christmas Carol tells the story of Ebenezer Scrooge, an old miser who is shown the…

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Hallmark Channel Debuts “A Pop Punk Christmas,” in Which Frontman Returns to Hated Hometown and Finds Love at Local High School

December 18, 2021

NEW YORK — The Hallmark Channel is branching out into new creative territory this year with the addition of a…

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Review: Crimpshrine “Duct Tape Soup”

November 28, 2021

Each Sunday, The Hard Times travels back and reviews a notable album from the past. This week we take a…

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