We all know that ketamine is actually for horses. Well, technically for various veterinary and medical uses, but mostly horses. Still, humans have been enjoying (and not enjoying) the effects of K for decades now. Unfortunately, very few people are aware that other things made for horses can also be fun for humans, especially when your are loaded off of your tits on ketamine.
Here’s a list of the best horse paraphernalia, gear, and accessories to really hone in on your equine side while taking a tranquilizer.
Himalayan Salt Lick Block
These big hunks of pink salt on a rope are…exactly as described. You (or a horse) lick it, and it’s salty. On ketamine, it’s a textural adventure for your tongue! It also provides some minerals and nutrients apparently? You’ll probably need those since you’re deficient in everything except vitamin K.
Horse Grooming Brush
These coarse bristle brushes are sure to hit the spot—just look how much horses love them! Imagine how good it must feel to have someone brush your back as you’re laying face down on the couch incapacitated, staring at the crumbs in between the cushions.
A Saddle
A saddle is the perfect accessory for ket users who are out at a rave or club. Show off your unique sense of style while also not-so-subtly hinting that you want someone to ride you! Will you actually be able to have sex while on this stuff? Not likely. But you can at least lay in bed next to someone with your saddle on and they can, I dunno, wrap their legs around it or something?
A Stable
Picture this: you’re having a good time, but then all of a sudden, you feel a serious k-hole coming on. You’re about to lose connection to the outside world. As you stumble over, you land in something soft. It’s a pile of hay! You’re in your own little enclosure, safe from the elements and free to drool all over yourself. With your own personal stable, you can make this dream a reality. You can even drink from a trough and lick your new salt block!
More Ketamine?
You may not be 1,200 pounds of fur and muscle, but dammit all if more ketamine wouldn’t hit the god damn spot right now! Giddy up!