Review: Tom Morello “The Atlas Underground Fire” November 17, 2021 There was a time before social media when art was expected to have substance, and music could be a vehicle… Read More →
The Nicest Celebrity I Know is Armie Hammer, and a List of Other Things His New Publicist Asked Me to Mention August 28, 2021 I’ve been lucky enough to meet quite a few famous people, but I gotta tell ya: Armie Hammer is the… Read More →
Big News for Glassjaw Fans June 30, 2021 Glassjaw, the legendary and often imitated New York post-hardcore band, has announced a 20+ year anniversary collection including seminal records… Read More →
The Best Aphex Twin Albums for Clawing Your Way Out of a K Hole January 19, 2021 So, you decided to dabble with some ketamine. I really can’t blame you. Sorry horses, Ket isn’t just for you… Read More →
Ex-Underøath Fan Devoutly Tweets Death Threats to Band, Prays for Better Internet Connection on Livestream Next Week July 22, 2020 PROVO, Utah — Devout Christian and former Underøath superfan Liam Beckstead spent the majority of his afternoon yesterday Tweeting death… Read More →
Slipknot Refuses to Donate Masks to Hospital Battling COVID-19 April 15, 2020 DES MOINES, Iowa — Members of longstanding nü-metal band Slipknot are facing intense criticism today for refusing to donate their… Read More →
Eight Somehow Dead After Launch of Black Metal Streaming Service February 25, 2020 OSLO, Norway — The brand new, all-black metal streaming platform “Corpsify +” is responsible for the brutal deaths of eight… Read More →
Andrew Yang to Suspend Campaign, Offer Universal “Go Fuck Yourself” to Every American Citizen February 11, 2020 CONCORD, N.H. — Andrew Yang announced he will be dropping out of the presidential race tonight, but promised to deliver… Read More →
Molly Connolly Reveals Max Bemis Mostly Just Prematurely Ejaculated and Cried November 20, 2019 LOS ANGELES – Molly Connolly, the subject of mid-00s emo band Say Anything’s fan favorite song “Every Man Has a… Read More →
Iggy Pop Set to Auction off 64 Square Feet of Excess Skin for Charity March 3, 2017 MIAMI — After a successful cosmetic skin removal surgery, Iggy Pop, the hard-rocking godfather of punk music, announced he plans… Read More →