Punk Counts “Good Teeth” With Tongue June 5, 2022 CHANDLER, Ariz. — Gina Feldspar, bassist for punk band Piss Ritual, performed a periodic inventory of “good” and “bad” teeth… Read More →
Family Attempts to Bring Lost Crust Punk Home by Shaking Pack of Cigarettes, Clinking 40 Ounce Bottles in Backyard June 3, 2022 GRAND FORKS, N.D. — Marjorie and Gerald Spitz attempted to lure their wayward crust punk son home using his two… Read More →
Friend Group Terrified of Guy With 20,000 Records Moving Someday May 23, 2022 RALEIGH, N.C. — Friends of record enthusiast Tom Montgomery expressed grave concern that they may be asked to help move… Read More →
Doom Drummer Studies for LSAT Between Snare Hits May 19, 2022 LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Local doom metal drummer and law student John Hennion used the extended gaps in between snare… Read More →
Boyfriend Exhibits Worrisome Signs of Early Onset Townes Van Zandt Phase May 13, 2022 WEST NEWTON, Mass. — 28 year old Jim Sylvia’s deep dive into Townes Van Zandt’s catalog has become a cause… Read More →
New Yorker Desperate To Attribute Cum Smell To Those Weird Trees May 4, 2022 NEW YORK CITY — Lower East Side resident Amanda Giardi is hopefully assuming that the overwhelming smell of cum surrounding… Read More →