Review: Botch “We Are the Romans”
Each week the Hard Times reflects upon a classic album of yore—this time we’re taking a look at Botch’s mathy-metal…
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Tim Graham — Page 13
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New Evidence Suggests Monkey from “Shock the Monkey” and Monkey from “Monkey Gone to Heaven” are Same Monkey
OXFORD, England — Oxford University musicology professor Edward Gosnold discovered new details lending credence to his hypothesis that the subject…
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If You Didn’t Want To Get Crowdkilled, You Shouldn’t Have Stood Next to Me in Line at the Bank While I Was Listening to Madball on My Headphones
Ever go to a hardcore show and see those weaklings standing on the edges of the pit, just begging to…
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Hardcore Toddler at Chuck E. Cheese Stops Playing to Pick up Kid Knocked Down in Ball Pit
NORTH DARTMOUTH, Mass. — Preschool punk Henry Doyle rushed to the aid of little Briana Hamm, who disappeared beneath the…
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10 Albums Coming in 2023 We Don’t Really Care About Because We’re Depressed
We’re supposed to be taking a look ahead at some of the most anticipated albums coming in 2023 or whatever.…
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Review: Metallica “…And Justice for All”
It’s Sunday, and that means it’s time to cast our critical eye on another classic album. This week, we’re looking…
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Limp Bizkit’s Debut Re-Released as “5.57 Dollar Bill, Y’all” After Adjusting for Inflation
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Venerable rap rock band Limp Bizkit announced that their hit 1997 album “Three Dollar Bill, Y’all” would…
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Review: Primus “Suck on This”
Primus’ explosive debut “Suck on This” is a live recording that perfectly captures the idiosyncratic band and their bassist frontman…
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Danny Elfman Feeling Slighted as Haunted Carnival Decides to Go In Different Musical Direction
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — Hollywood composer Danny Elfman was reportedly dejected after his proposed score for an legitimately haunted carnival…
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Aristocrat’s Monocle Falls Into Bisque When Punk Shows Up to Banquet
LOS ANGELES — Archibald Van Heusen III’s shock upon seeing a guest in full punk regalia at a Getty Museum…
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