Aging Couple Praying Band Does Not Play Encore March 7, 2018 BALTIMORE — Married couple Kenny Wallace and Audrey Tyler are praying to “Christ or whatever the fuck” that the band… Read More →
Host Graciously Offers Band One Damp Towel to Share March 6, 2018 RENO, Nev. — Touring hardcore outfit Hammer Envy received a single, damp towel last night to share amongst the four… Read More →
Hardcore Flight Attendant Dedicates Flight to “Real Mother Fuckers in Coach” March 5, 2018 ATLANTA — Delta Airlines flight attendant Moses Ray dedicated yesterday’s routine flight to Chicago to “the real mother fuckers in… Read More →
Pop-Punk Frontman Shunned by Peers for Dating Age-Appropriate Woman March 4, 2018 NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — 33-year-old pop-punk frontman Danny Huerta has reportedly been cast out of the scene he helped build… Read More →
Maturing Punk Frontman Richie Butthole Beginning to Regret Stage Name March 3, 2018 KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Butthole Canyon frontman Richie Butthole increasingly regrets his chosen stage name, now that he is approaching his… Read More →
Girlfriend On Phone Quietly Drops $3,000 for Comfier Chairs in Virtual Restaurant March 2, 2018 INDIANAPOLIS – Local girlfriend Stacey Hopkins, currently sitting on the edge of the couch while her boyfriend plays Battlefront II, has… Read More →
OSHA Inspector Shocked by Numerous Safety Violations in “Construction Chicks 2018” Calendar March 2, 2018 LANSING, Mich. — Local OSHA inspector Gary Branville found an upsettingly high number of blatant safety violations in the latest… Read More →
Metalhead Running out of Body Parts to Carve Slayer Into March 1, 2018 FRESNO, Calif. — Local metalhead Terry Parker found yesterday that he is almost out of body parts into which to… Read More →
Here’s the Full Quincy Jones Interview Everyone Is Talking About February 9, 2018 Legendary music producer Quincy Jones is best known for his cool demeanor and ability to spot raw talent, but the… Read More →