The Hard Times Staff, Author at HARDTIMES

March 7, 2018

BALTIMORE — Married couple Kenny Wallace and Audrey Tyler are praying to “Christ or whatever the fuck” that the band…

March 6, 2018

RENO, Nev. — Touring hardcore outfit Hammer Envy received a single, damp towel last night to share amongst the four…

March 5, 2018

ATLANTA — Delta Airlines flight attendant Moses Ray dedicated yesterday’s routine flight to Chicago to “the real mother fuckers in…

March 4, 2018

NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — 33-year-old pop-punk frontman Danny Huerta has reportedly been cast out of the scene he helped build…

March 3, 2018

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Butthole Canyon frontman Richie Butthole increasingly regrets his chosen stage name, now that he is approaching his…

March 2, 2018

INDIANAPOLIS – Local girlfriend Stacey Hopkins, currently sitting on the edge of the couch while her boyfriend plays Battlefront II, has…

March 2, 2018

LANSING, Mich. — Local OSHA inspector Gary Branville found an upsettingly high number of blatant safety violations in the latest…

March 1, 2018

FRESNO, Calif. — Local metalhead Terry Parker found yesterday that he is almost out of body parts into which to…

February 9, 2018

Legendary music producer Quincy Jones is best known for his cool demeanor and ability to spot raw talent, but the…

February 6, 2018

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