Everyone at Hard Style was stoked when our boss told us we could bring our pets into the office last year. Who wouldn’t love being…
WASHINGTON — The Department of Transportation issued a statement today warning those traveling within the D.C. area to expect delays and account for an unprecedented…
LOS ANGELES — Morrissey begrudgingly signed for another shipment of Emergen-C early this morning from fans desperately trying to keep the aging performer in good…
BISBEE, Ariz. — Courtney Howard’s otherwise unshakeable Positive Mental Attitude has been temporarily postponed due to crushing PMS, Howard quietly reported from her blanket cocoon…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local woman Sarah Abott reportedly had a personal “modern day Hanukkah miracle” this past week when, despite only having enough battery to…
Jobless, heartbroken, living on my mom’s couch. I needed a way to discreetly alert my friends that I was being consumed by the nagging disappointment…
TORONTO — The resident sound guy of Queen Street Hall is at the center of a tense hostage situation, according to authorities gathered outside the…
DETROIT — Local goth teen Shelly Davis announced plans to ruin her family’s Christmas card for the third year in a row, according to a…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Scientists at the University of California-Santa Cruz revealed this morning that, after extensive research and clinical trials, they have discovered a…
CAVE CREEK, Ariz. — Facebook announced on Thursday a new plan to crack down on the much talked about fake punks who wear t-shirts featuring…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Fans at last night’s Kanye West concert (where the rapper announced his support for president-elect Trump) reportedly created a petition to…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — As the U.S. comes to terms with a Trump presidency, local woman Valerie Stevens discovered a silver lining amongst the doom and…
MODESTO, Calif. — Facebook friend Aaron Maebe, who ironically ‘attended’ dozens of fake Facebook events this summer, is reportedly “SO SICK” of his friend’s “stupid…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — A subtle change in barista Jason Rodriguez’s latte art since the Fall equinox is causing growing concern amongst patrons of Marble Coffee…
Oh boy, looks like Morrissey is making headlines again. We all know that from time to time celebrities will leave a big, life-changing tip for…