CINCINNATI — Friendless, pathetic loser Sonny Robertson attempted to remedy his loneliness yesterday by starting a group text with his…
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SAN DIEGO — Drummer and quiet introvert Don Scarpelli acted strangely on Saturday night after entering the blacklight-filled basement of…
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PITTSBURGH — Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University released a disturbing report today predicting that 100% of erotic asphyxiation will be…
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SEATTLE — Competitive barista Boris Demman was rushed to the emergency room yesterday when a carafe of fresh pourover was…
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SEATTLE — Politically correct punk Michael Favata was delighted to learn yesterday that his band’s bassist is currently dating a…
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NEW YORK — Popular photoblog “Humans of New York” announced in an emotional press conference today that they have finally…
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ST. LOUIS — Folk-punk musician and all-around vagabond Ross Smithton asked you yesterday to pick him up from the Alton…
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Do you feel a lack of energy, motivation, and general wellness in your life? Sheeple out there will tell you…
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In the 1890's, Ivan Pavlov discovered that he could cause dogs to salivate at his command by associating food with…
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SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — An independent adult film company has achieved a new level of realism in lesbian pornography with…
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