John Danek, Author at HARDTIMES

January 18, 2020

Youth is overrated. Young people look fucking weird, their voices are all high and annoying, and they’re dumb as hell.…

January 14, 2020

PALMETTO BAY, Fla. — An already shirtless Iggy Pop tightly crossed his fingers and paced anxiously during the team selection…

January 13, 2020

BOSTON — Researchers at Berklee College of Music confirmed today that the opening riff of local punk band Milkmouth’s song…

January 11, 2020

DETROIT — Local bar/glam rock band Stiletto Devils, who cite fellow Detroiters Kiss as their sole influence, “suck ass” at…

January 7, 2020

The word “boomer” contains decades–nay, millennia–of pain, hatred, and abuse. Millennials toss it around flippantly, making it the punchline of…

January 6, 2020

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Civil engineer Daniel Barley obtained sole custody of ex-girlfriend Alicia Kressen’s parents yesterday during the dissolution of…

January 5, 2020

LOS ANGELES — Local punk and diehard Interrobanged! fan Heather McGowan didn’t clap when the band played her “favorite song…

January 5, 2020

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Newly engaged and unnecessarily honest groom-to-be Blake Sorrentino announced at a dinner gathering last Friday that he…

January 2, 2020

Oh, you’re a Wu-Tang Clan fan too? Huh. Then name all of the members. I’ll wait. Oh, ok. Nice. But…

January 1, 2020

BOSTON — Local straight edger Alana Enders’ depression ostensibly reached a new low when she told the bartender at White…

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