Rapper Lil Baby, 26, Dies of SIDS
ATLANTA — Dominique Jones, more popularly known to rap fans as Lil Baby, tragically passed away in his sleep last…
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Freelancer
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“The Queen’s Gambit” Inspires Millions of Young Girls to Play 30 Seconds of Online Chess Before Seeing What Else Is On
MADISON, Wis. — The breakout Netflix show “The Queen’s Gambit” has reportedly inspired millions of young girls around the globe…
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Cop Shoots Grand Jury After Being Slapped On Wrist
LEXINGTON, Ky. — Ofc. Michael Skolnyk opened fire on a grand jury yesterday after they figuratively slapped him on the…
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Opinion: I’m Whichever Gender Gets Me the Most Poon Tang
It’s not my job to educate you. It’s your job to stop being ignorant. I understand that it’s easier for…
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The Next School? I’m in Jail
Beige cinderblock walls. A broken intercom system. The cold indifference of my captors. If I didn’t know better I’d say…
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The Next L. Ron Hubbard? This Ugly Guy Wrote Some Shitty Books
Whether for his abusive teachings or seemingly self-proclaimed charlatanism, The Church of Scientology’s founder Lafayette Ronald Hubbard is a controversial…
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We Sat Down With 1940s LGBTQ Icon Bugs Bunny
Arguably one of the most famous actors of the 20th century, Bugs Bunny developed a new sense of comedy, sarcasm,…
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MPD Members Disband to Focus On Individual Violent Side Projects
MINNEAPOLIS — Members of the Minneapolis Police Department disbanded yesterday to focus on their individual violent side projects, citing creative…
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Cop Nervous On First Day Simply Imagines Protestors Are His Wife
NEW YORK — NYPD officer Joseph Calbroni resorted to imagining all of the protestors he is beating the shit out…
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17,984 Police Stations Sadly Still Untorched
MINNEAPOLIS — Rioters protesting the unlawful killing of another unarmed black man at the hands of police officers successfully burned…
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