Page 4 – HARDTIMES

September 6, 2021

AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with…

August 28, 2021

WASHINGTON — The United States of America picked up another twenty seasons of Forever War, according to a speech from…

August 18, 2021

AUSTIN — Texas Governor Greg Abbott tested positive for the emerging Justified variant of COVID-19, according to a statement from…

August 12, 2021

Prepare to have your faith in humanity restored! When neighbors found out that 87-year-old Sacramento resident Robert Manzana needed help…

July 31, 2021

PORTLAND — Ardent leftist and Socialist Rifle Association member Jamie Stoltz was hospitalized after severely damaging her tongue by biting…

June 30, 2021

HEAVEN — Local benevolent being, God, ended the life of former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld today as a formal…

April 27, 2021

NEW YORK — A local hardcore scene was left to organize a benefit show for several hundred of the 3,000…

April 9, 2021

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — A study published Thursday in the University of Michigan’s Journal of Human Psychology confirmed that an…

March 12, 2021

Hey girl, I had a great time watching the Jars of Clay live-stream with you the other night. But I…

January 25, 2021

LUBBOCK, Texas — Local defense attorney Andre Laird is reportedly running out of options today, trying to convince his punk…