Punk Pied Piper Marches Army of Rats Right Back Into Town
HAMELIN, Germany — Local residents awoke to the horrifying sight of thousands of filthy rats being led back into the…
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Doug Kolic — Page 8
123 stories found
Garbage Truck Driving Behind Punk Band’s Tour Van Can’t Believe the Stench
PATERSON, N.J. — Local garbage collector Vince LePaglia couldn’t believe the putrid stench emanating from the tour van of punk…
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We Revisit That Sick Burn We Had on That Kid in Grade School Because We Really Need This
I love reminiscing about the good old days. Like in fifth grade, when I totally dunked on Owen Krevsky when…
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Introverted Office Worker With New Haircut About to Walk Into Fucking Minefield
WILMINGTON, Del. — Office introvert Chandler Pike was cautiously optimistic that his shorter-than-usual haircut would go unnoticed by colleagues, according…
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If Home Ownership Is So Elusive, Why Did I Inherit Three?
Not a day goes by that I don’t hear someone bitching about not being able to afford a home. They…
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Opinion: College Admissions Should Only Be Based on Merit and Who Your Parents Are
The Supreme Court finally did the right thing and struck down the unjust policy of Affirmative Action in college admissions.…
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5 Times Characters From “Full House” Made Inappropriate Remarks About the Chernobyl Nuclear Disaster
If you’re like me, you fondly remember the ‘80s sitcom “Full House” as a heartwarming comedy about a gay throuple…
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Juggalo Scientists Confirm “Whoop Whoop” Means Both “Hello,” “Goodbye,” and “Show Me Your Butthole”
DELRAY, Mich. — Leading Juggalo scientists confirmed fascinating new research which indicates that “whoop whoop” has numerous meanings including “hello,”…
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Steven Spielberg Announces Regret for Editing Guns, Massive Alien Dong Out of “E.T.”
LOS ANGELES – Steven Spielberg recently expressed regret for censoring the 20th anniversary release of “E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial” by editing…
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AI Band Looking For Server to Crash On
HOUSTON — AI-generated punk band Fresh Scabies expressed their desire to crash on any available servers “just for a little…
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