AI Band Looking For Server to Crash On
HOUSTON — AI-generated punk band Fresh Scabies expressed their desire to crash on any available servers “just for a little…
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Doug Kolic — Page 9
124 stories found
Help! I Let My Freak Flag Fly and Now I’m in Trouble With the Homeowners Association
One of the main reasons I chose to live here is because the website said this was an inclusive community…
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Man Hoping Diarrhea Planet T-Shirt Distracts From Goatwhore Tattoo
PUEBLO, Colo. — Local man Trigg Barrett hoped that the Diarrhea Planet t-shirt he put on would distract his girlfriend’s…
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If “A Clockwork Orange” Is So Disturbing Why Am I Letting My Sister’s Kids Watch It?
I wish my sister would stop complaining about my babysitting skills and start thanking me for exposing her kids to…
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Fan Standing Alone in Darkened Venue Still Holding Out Hope for Second Encore
CHICAGO – A fan of punk band Crucified Vertebrae was recently spotted alone in a darkened venue forty minutes after…
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If You Didn’t Want to Attend the Gathering of the Juggalos You Shouldn’t Have Put Me in Charge of Planning Our Honeymoon
Yo babe, are you serious? You really wanted to go to Disneyland after the wedding? Then why didn’t you just…
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Help! I Started Smoking Weed but It Wasn’t a Gateway to Any Stronger Drugs
I'm a pretty trusting person. That’s why I listened to my guidance counselors and that cop from the D.A.R.E. program…
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Aging Aerosmith Looking for Young Groupies to Mainly Help with iPhone Updates
BOSTON – Members of the legendary rock band Aerosmith admitted that their desire for young groupies is less about sex…
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Singer Celebrating 1 Million Spotify Streams Needed Back in Frozen Food Section
WASHINGTON – Local singer Riley Wambach briefly celebrated hitting one million Spotify streams before being summoned back to the frozen…
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I Gave John Lennon the Finger Guns the Day He Died and I’ve Felt Guilty Ever Since
I have a confession. It's been eating away at me for decades. On December 8th, 1980 when I waited outside…
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