NEW YORK — A local museum visitor reported Friday that the helpful audio guide at the Museum of Contemporary Art had gently begun suggesting he might simply be too dumb to understand one of the featured pieces after he failed to respond positively to it, sources confirmed.
“I was looking at a particularly unimpressive and confusing piece of modern, or contemporary art, is there a difference? Anyways, I was thinking to myself how stupid and ugly it was when the audio guide thoughtfully suggested I might actually be too dumb to get it,” said visitor Ethan Calloway. “It went on to say that if I disliked it, it was probably because I was incapable of understanding nuance, subtext, or even basic technique, which was a relief because I was tired of looking at it and didn’t want to waste any more of my time.”
Museum director Claire Mendel noted that such features have become increasingly common as institutions attempt to make modern art more accessible to wider audiences.
“Audio guides are incredibly popular now, especially among visitors who may feel intimidated or overwhelmed by certain works,” said Mendel. “Our systems are specifically designed to warmly support struggling patrons by helping them identify which pieces they may simply be too ignorant to appreciate before redirecting them toward the more approachable, milquetoast works that better align with their tastes and mainstream sensibilities. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with preferring the kinds of pieces you can just Google image-search or find at your local HomeGoods.”
Art historian and museum consultant Dr. Leonard Weiss explained that not all museumgoers are seeking the same experience.
“Most people come to museums because they want to enjoy themselves, not because they’re interested in confronting difficult ideas or engaging with work that may challenge them emotionally, politically, or philosophically,” Weiss said. “The average visitor does not want art that inspires inward reflection or outward change that could have a powerful, lasting effect on the world. Most simply want to see some mundane, tasteless nonsense they can imagine hanging over a West Elm couch and CB2 lounger so they can continue not caring about, respecting, or valuing art in any meaningful way whatsoever.”
At press time, the museum’s audio guide was reportedly reminding Calloway that new episodes of three different Taylor Sheridan shows were available for streaming if he was thinking about just skipping the last few exhibits and heading home.
