SAN ANTONIO — Local metalhead Spencer Leggieri is reportedly being scouted by multiple pizza shops across the city in hopes of securing his talent as a full-time employee after graduation, excited sources confirmed.
“The past few weeks have been overwhelming. Recruiters are calling me, sending me letters, and assistant managers are coming to my house to try to convince me to commit to working for them in the fall. And these aren’t just small pizza shops, we are talking big names like Tony’s, Tony’s II, Main Street Pies, and even St. Pizza,” said Leggieri. “The most important thing to me is the culture of the kitchen. I won’t be able to work in a place where people only play Slayer and Metallica. I need more than that, I need depth. I need to be surrounded by people who can make pizza while listening to metal that runs the gamut from Children of Bodom to Malevolent Creation. And this is the big leagues, I want them to show me obscure metal bands from the ‘80s that only released one demo tape before they all died driving drunk.”
Leggieri’s mother Aubrey is trying to gently push her son in the direction she sees as the most promising.
“I want the best for my son. He’s put in a lot of hard work growing out his hair, sprouting a terrible mustache, and layering his denim jacket with patches. And I hope he chooses Taste of Italy. His father worked there back in the ‘90s, and his brother worked there part-time. It’s our family legacy,” said Mrs. Leggieri. “Plus they have the best breadsticks out of everyone else in town. If Spencer is working there he will get to bring home some leftovers, and we get the friends and family discount. This is a life-changing opportunity and I’d hate to see him waste it.”
Retired pizza shop recruiter Dave “Grimey” Burdette warns that this decision should not be taken lightly.
“I’ve seen so many promising young pizza makers get a taste of the big time and burnout. There is so much more to the job than talking shit about every customer with your co-workers and getting so drunk after your shift you need your stomach pumped,” said Burdette. “These guys tend to forget it’s actually about the pizza. It’s about making a pie so good that most normal people will overlook how filthy the place is because they know the pizza is better than anything else in town.”
At press time, Leggieri was considering taking a gap year to study thrash history in the Bay Area.