You may have made it through another week, but have you made it through the most important news stories from the last seven days? If not, you’re in luck.

Punk Running Out of Social Distortion Records to Play While Hanging Out With Mechanic Neighbor

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“Good Artists Borrow, Great Artists Steal” Whispers Man Before Mugging Tom Morello

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Cool-Looking Synthesizer Unfortunately the Kind That’s Tough to Figure Out

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Courteous Singer Says “Guitar” Before Guitar Solo

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Underperforming Slipknot Member Sent Down to Mushroomhead For Conditioning

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Cop Wins Creative Writing Award for Recent Police Report

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$20 LED Strip Transforms Dank Studio Apartment Into Enchanting Fuck Dungeon

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House Full of Unemployed Artists Calling Self a Collective Now

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I Took the Skinheads Bowling and Now I’m Banned From the Milford Family Fun Center

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Group of Unemployed, Single, Childless, Band Members Who Live Together Still Can’t Find a Practice Time That Works For Everyone

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We Spoke To Ryan Murphy About His Newest Series “Sexy Gay White Murder Orgy”

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