SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Clay Horton briefly paused fellating a complete stranger at a glory hole in an area gay bar to inquire if he was vaccinated for COVID-19, sources at the scene report.
“When I’m engaging in anonymous sex in public, particularly glory holes, I want to ensure that I am taking the necessary precautions against COVID,” Horton said before continuing to deep throat the hard, throbbing cock protruding from the bathroom wall. “It really makes for a more relaxed and engaging pump-and-dump session, truth be told. I feel better about getting my mouth bred by whomever is on the other side of the stall knowing that we are both protected against Coronavirus. This is probably the third or fourth dick I’ve sucked tonight, so I don’t want to be responsible for a superspreader event.”
Bar manager James Walton stated that the bar adheres to local and CDC guidelines regarding vaccines and activities like bukakke.
“How many fucking times do I have to tell this guy he can’t do that shit here?” an annoyed Walton asked. “He got caught once already and we got hit with a huge fine from the city. He even had the gall to complain that the guys running a train on him last month weren’t wearing masks! My staff is exhausted as it is, they can’t be accountable for what goes on in every well-lit corner of this place. Christ, I could lose my fucking liquor license again.”
“I thought we filled that goddamn hole in, or at least covered it with tape,” he added.
Sexual health experts stated that, in the wake of the ongoing pandemic, new measures must be taken to ensure safe, anonymous cocksucking.
“Well, we typically don’t advise that people engage in this sort of high-risk behavior in general,” noted Dr. Suzanne Hopkins of Whitman-Walker. “While both partners being vaccinated is a key component of returning to safe sex, this sort of anonymous sexual behavior is normally associated with several high-risk behaviors and, therefore, is a cause for the spread of STIs. I’m not trying to slut-shame Mr. Horton, but it’s important to discuss status before swallowing a white-hot load from a gigantic, faceless dong.”
At press time, the rock-hard stranger dismissed the vaccine questions, as he is on PrEP.