BOULDER, Colo. — Unpopular yet devastating virus COVID-19 announced it will be partnering with Mass Shootings in a co-headlining killing…
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Kyle Erf
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MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A controversial new investigation into the supply chain buttressing the extremely popular sport of Kart Racing sparked…
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Laura Merli
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ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced today that Americans who have been surgically attached to…
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Literally A Koala
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DOYLESTOWN, Pa. — Local sous chef and frequent masturbater Kyle Myers would not pause his jerk-off session Monday when his…
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Heather Cook
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Millennials have been deemed the lazy and entitled generation, but there are a few exceptions. Sure, most of us are…
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Tony Morse
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VANCOUVER, Wash. — Covert racist Nancy Jensen admitted she is sick of her more conspicuously bigoted husband receiving all the…
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Ed Smith
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TOKYO — A former MMA champion officially withdrew from an international martial arts competition yesterday after a brutal mauling from…
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Jake Menez
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PHOENIX — Stead Ned, the guitarist for the Ned Flanders-inspired heavy metal band Okilly Dokilly, is worried about his missing…
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Ryan Danley
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After decades in television and cinema, if there's one thing people remember about Tim Allen it's the name he made…
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Kevin Tit
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BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — Local dad and lifelong jock Patrick Bruckheimer is forcing his home-schooled teenage son to take showers upstairs…
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