Jeremy Kaplowitz
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PHILADELPHIA — Local gamer Carla Ward reportedly needs to trick herself into finishing video games by gamifying them in order…
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Giovanni Colantonio
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KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has reportedly entered a full state of panic with executives blindsided after Microsoft announced that it…
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Bobby Korec
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Journalism is all about specificity. So when it came time to analyze Nine Inch Nails’ '90s love anthem “Closer,” we…
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Patrick Coyne
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HARRISBURG, Pa. — Local man and alleged former drug addict Kyle Drury is “weirdly braggy” about the apparently darkest, most…
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Kaitlin Crow
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Working from home is hard. Really hard. Day in and day out I would stare at my Excel spreadsheets for…
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Jason VanSlycke
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NEW HAVEN, Conn. — An artistically noisy altercation between neighbors escalated yesterday when Sonic Youth’s “Confusion Is Sex” was cranked…
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Liam O'Malley
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OSLO, Norway — YouTuber Konleith Narvesen is reportedly at a complete loss following the announcement that the newest Zelda game,…
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Ed Smith
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NEWCITY02 — Voters have apparently grown tired of living in a featureless meadow, as a first-time runner has secured a…
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Mathieu Boumal
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MILWAUKEE — Local conscious living creature Katrina Harris, who consists of an intricate assemblage of atoms made of stardust, reportedly…
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Patrick Crooks
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LOS ANGELES — CBS executives announced today the return of “2 Broke Girls” as an OnlyFans exclusive, following the success…
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