September 2020 - Page 18 of 21

Louie Aronowitz • September 6, 2020

OYSTER BAY, N.Y. — Legendary singer/songwriter Billy Joel’s classic song “Piano Man” was originally crafted to be a pitch for…

Mark Roebuck • September 5, 2020

LOS ANGELES — Polarizing filmmaker Zack Snyder has announced a new account on the OnlyHaters service, which allows devoted detractors…

Chandler Dean • September 5, 2020

WARRENTON, Mo. — In a revelation that made him question his instincts, local gamer Kevin Lanigan recently realized that the…

Patrick Crooks • September 5, 2020

NEW YORK — Local man Graham Holt has spent his entire day today trying to determine if a compliment he…

Dan Kozuh • September 5, 2020

CHICAGO — Local metal fan Tracy O’Brien attempted to use the popular music identification app Shazam today to identify a…

Rob Walker • September 5, 2020

TAMPA, Fla. — Punk magician “Dope” Derek Dombrowski asked moments ago if anyone else performing at a birthday party might…

John Danek • September 5, 2020

All you pink-haired, piercing-filled, vegan terrorist thugs think being a police officer is just sooooooo easy. You assume it’s all…

Ryan Clark • September 5, 2020

YORBA LINDA, Calif. — Classic car owner Charles Metzger found yesterday what appeared to be dozens of rockabilly models all…

Molly Vossler • September 4, 2020

WASHINGTON — Griffin Miller, a career contrarian and lifelong advocate of The Devil, has been tapped as Communications Director for…

Andy Holt • September 4, 2020

NEW YORK — Sony Entertainment has acquired exclusive rights to all depictions of arachnids and men in film, television, and…

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