Louie Aronowitz
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OYSTER BAY, N.Y. — Legendary singer/songwriter Billy Joel’s classic song “Piano Man” was originally crafted to be a pitch for…
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Mark Roebuck
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LOS ANGELES — Polarizing filmmaker Zack Snyder has announced a new account on the OnlyHaters service, which allows devoted detractors…
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Chandler Dean
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WARRENTON, Mo. — In a revelation that made him question his instincts, local gamer Kevin Lanigan recently realized that the…
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Patrick Crooks
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NEW YORK — Local man Graham Holt has spent his entire day today trying to determine if a compliment he…
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Dan Kozuh
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CHICAGO — Local metal fan Tracy O’Brien attempted to use the popular music identification app Shazam today to identify a…
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Rob Walker
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TAMPA, Fla. — Punk magician “Dope” Derek Dombrowski asked moments ago if anyone else performing at a birthday party might…
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John Danek
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All you pink-haired, piercing-filled, vegan terrorist thugs think being a police officer is just sooooooo easy. You assume it’s all…
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Ryan Clark
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YORBA LINDA, Calif. — Classic car owner Charles Metzger found yesterday what appeared to be dozens of rockabilly models all…
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Molly Vossler
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WASHINGTON — Griffin Miller, a career contrarian and lifelong advocate of The Devil, has been tapped as Communications Director for…
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Andy Holt
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NEW YORK — Sony Entertainment has acquired exclusive rights to all depictions of arachnids and men in film, television, and…
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