Jordan Breeding
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SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS — Professors at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft admit they’re struggling with teaching students remotely via Zoom several months…
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Alec Stein
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WASHINGTON — The new viral bombshell “Plandemic” has revealed a simple, shocking truth: that all of your friends are dribbling,…
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It is a time of uncertainty in the world. Between a global pandemic, unemployment, and scarce resources, no one knows…
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Bobby Korec
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ST. LOUIS — Local punk band Dead Houseplants will play Locust Street’s Fubar in exchange for free exposure to COVID-19…
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PITTSBURGH — After many shameful years working in the underworld of Reddit moderation, local pedantic jerk Martin Thurn claims to…
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Kevin Flynn
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LOS ANGELES — In a totally surprising turn of events that we’re just as surprised about as you are, Riot…
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Erin McLaughlin
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I’m so sick of everyone calling me a hypochondriac. It puts excess strain on my life and makes me doubt…
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SEATTLE — A new model from the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation at the University of Washington shows that…
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METROPOLIS — Local superhero Superman reportedly asked his waiter at a restaurant last night if there was any kryptonite in…
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Nick Ortolani
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KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Margery Watson’s annual Mother’s Day breakfast-in-bed was obstructed by her unsightly ventilator due to complications from an…
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