BIG CONGRATS. Against literally all odds, YOU, a fully-grown adult, managed to pull off a basic social interaction with a stranger. You didn’t stutter, you…
Barber Thinks You’re a Fucking Loser- Guest Column by Social Anxiety
Look at you, so brave getting a haircut from a real barber! What a self-care win for you! Let’s just get a few things straight—yes,…
So You Made Plans on Adderall: Here’s Five Ways To Fake Your Death
We’ve all been there. You took Adderall to clean your apartment without crying and now you’re slotted for thirteen different brunches at the same time.…
Well, it happened again! You’re a dog and your owners have decided to throw a goddamn house party, without consulting you or thinking what it…
If This Applebee’s Staff Sings Me “Happy Birthday,” None of Us Are Walking Out of Here Alive
You guys are my best friends. We’ve been through a lot together, and nothing is ever going to change that. But if you told the…
Cheer up! This full-grown woman thinks nobody likes her because she’s super annoying and says weird shit at parties, but this is not the case.…
A Group of Teenage Girls Just Laughed Near You So Enjoy Being Paranoid About That Forever
Like three cannon blasts from the depths of hell, a trio of teenage girls just laughed while sitting near to you so that’s something that…
STONY BROOK, N.Y. — Lifelong socially anxious man Max Trembolt revealed to a group of friends that he was single and ready to mingle with…
Opinion: Thank God It Went to Voicemail
Jesus, that was a close one. I got that roller coaster feeling in my stomach for a second. You know that feeling when you’re driving…
Report: Still Unclear Why Pretty Much Everything Wouldn’t Remain on Zoom or Just Not Happen At All
MONTGOMERY, Ala. — Countless sources from around the world are reportedly still unsure why anything is going back to happening in person and why anyone…
I Didn’t Come Here To Make Friends, I Came Here To Stand in the Corner and Hope I Don’t Say Anything Too Weird
Whoa there, buddy. I didn’t come to this party to cultivate new friendships or trick people into connecting with me on LinkedIn. I came here…
Awkward Man at Nude Beach Not Sure What to Do With Hands, Penis
MIAMI — First time nude beach goer Simon Lowell made fellow nudists uncomfortable with his obvious anxiety surrounding what to do with his hands and…
Let’s be honest, making new friends after the age of 22 is nearly impossible. I would know. I haven’t made a single new one since…
SAN FRANCISCO — Presidio Heights residents Bella and Hilton Dell are close to surpassing the 90-minute mark talking about the air fryer and bidet they…
Man Becomes Anti-Vaxxer in Order to Avoid Having to Attend Social Gatherings Again
QUINCY, Mass. — Local man and self-described introvert Blake Crowley became an adamant anti-vaccine activist in a desperate attempt to avoid being forced to attend…