Samuel Abraham
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As I ponder the waxing moon in contemplative solemnity, free of any obligations either vocational or especially social on this…
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Yancy Lee Crawford
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SEQUIM, Wash. — Local audiophile and longtime smoker Dale McGovern preferred the crackling sound and imperfections of cigarettes to the…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Local man and ostentatious snob William Huller was struck with an intense wave of envy as he pretended…
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Joe Rumrill
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EASTHAMPTON, Mass. — Local music snob Larson Cheek is extremely anxiety-ridden over the fact that nobody has taken anything from…
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Goodrich Gevaart
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LOS ANGELES — Software Developer and self-described “weed snob” Aiden Crispin exclusively fills his bong with chilled Evian, sources rolling…
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Colleen Nerney
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CHICAGO — Local beer connoisseur Evan Ramirez recently made the startling discovery that his new favorite craft beer transmutes directly…
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John Danek
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BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Pretentious bourbon sniffer Patrick Welles is ruining the otherwise fun vibes of an impromptu house party hang…
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Eric Navarro
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You know me so well. You know I love ambient, fuzzy surf rock and you know I love when zoomers…
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Jus Kaplan
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Perpetual IPA drinker Benson Watley is reportedly relieved, albeit secretly, that he can now enjoy hard seltzers…
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Rockie Wenrich
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CHICAGO — Local young couple Brandon Brentwood and Jade Long discovered that Long’s grandmother is just trying way too hard…
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