James Knapp
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HALSINGLAND, Sweden — A new study revealed that the vast majority of individuals aged 26 to 42 consider the acid…
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Jerrod Kingery
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COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out…
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Nick Ortolani
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WOODLAWN, Md. — A recent government study indicates that fans of thrash metal will finally be eligible for Social Security…
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Patrick Crooks
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ATHENS, Ga. — A Gibson Flying V with over 20 years of service in the punk scene was smashed just…
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Mark Hassenfratz
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TULSA, Okla. — Local punk Eddie Abrams’s plans to retire are reportedly contingent upon his dying young and nothing else,…
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Randi Pulator
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RICHMOND, Va. — Members of the disbanded hardcore group Surge Protector reunited in secret last night to discuss ending their…
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Ian Kitchen
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REDMOND, Wash. — Reggie Fils-Aimé has made his final tearful goodbye from Nintendo after 16 years today, and as part…
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Jason Crews
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HELL - Local Angel of Darkness, Satan, gifted metal icons Slayer with an 18-karat gold watch as a thank you…
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Dan Kozuh
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DENVER — The pit at famed punk venue The Safe Room was packed with teary-eyed loved ones and well-wishers on…
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Freelancer
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PHILADELPHIA — Local coreman Alex Gonzalez was struck down by a hail of fists in a brutal crowdkilling incident at…
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