Steve Packosky
•
LA MESA, Calif. — Prolific thrash metal frontman Dave Mustaine started a rival retirement organization after being removed from the…
Read More →
I used to set aside fifteen percent of my paycheck for IRAs, savings accounts, and other get-rich-slow schemes. But why…
Read More →
Trevor Graham
•
If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a living nightmare of a job that takes every ounce of your being…
Read More →
Tim Graham
•
HOUSTON — Soon-to-be retired senator Joe Manchin’s suit was hung from the rafters at ExxonMobil’s headquarters during a tearful farewell…
Read More →
Zac Lux
•
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A decrepit pair of jeans shook themselves fiercely in an attempt to rip themselves free of a…
Read More →
Stephen Bell
•
EUREKA, Calif. — A squirrel rapidly burying nuts in the ground in preparation for the winter is now better prepared…
Read More →
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Local neo-fascist Greg Pough retired as an active member of the Proud Boys today following a three-second…
Read More →
Patrick Crooks
•
ATHENS, Ga. — A Gibson Flying V with over 20 years of service in the punk scene was smashed just…
Read More →
Freelancer
•
PHILADELPHIA — Local coreman Alex Gonzalez was struck down by a hail of fists in a brutal crowdkilling incident at…
Read More →
