Patrick Coyne
•
CARBONDALE, Ill. — Tired wife Ruby McDermott was reportedly “not in the mood” for sexual activity this evening, instead asking…
Read More →
James Knapp
•
RUTLAND, Vt. — Local eco-douchebag Morgan Lence is reportedly living a completely vegan lifestyle, despite his claim to be a…
Read More →
Cory Cousins
•
DALLAS — Patients at Dallas General Hospital learned yesterday that Dr. Graham Alder, one of the facility’s most trusted surgeons,…
Read More →
Gary Doyle
•
CHICAGO — Local pervert Tommy Webster was surprised to discover yesterday a band named after mannequin pussy, his favorite fetish…
Read More →
Andrew Murphy
•
BOSTON — A landmark study by a rowdy crew of sloshed scientists at the Harvard School of Drunk Studies have…
Read More →
Dan Rice
•
Today we all know Charles Schulz as the creator of the Peanuts comic strip, a man who single-handedly touched the…
Read More →
Ashley Naftule
•
Listen up, cinephiles: you need to stop buying Criterion Collection movies. It's nothing but a bunch of overpriced, pussified indie-foreign…
Read More →
Contributor
•
MILWAUKEE — Thomas Hannigan, a 22-year-old with a family history of addiction and psychological disorder, is acting like a “complete…
Read More →