Ben Sobieck
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I’m a typical American. I like my THC-infused beverages cold, my mac-and-Cheetos burgers hot, and my government wielding its awesome…
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Stephen Bell
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BOCA CHICA, Texas – The world’s richest man, Elon Musk, says that he will be creating a new political party…
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WASHINGTON — Vice President JD Vance can barely conceal his excitement at the prospect of getting “Two whole Christmases!” this…
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FRANKFORT, Ky. — Oft-succumbing and soon-dying United States senator Mitch McConnell revealed his post-political plans of destroying all the houses…
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Josh Fernandez
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SEATTLE — Local anarchist Tommy Greggors staunchly declined to answer a survey about his experience at OfficeMax, confirmed sources. “I…
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Noah Dominguez
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BERKELEY, Calif. — Local punk Charles “Chuck” McCoy is adamant that everyone knows his hatred for hippies stems from a…
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Matt Oriente
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SAN MATEO, Calif. – President-elect Donald Trump announced via Truth Social his intention to remove "any and all" federal protections…
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The Hard Times Staff
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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed a new bill that bans the word “gay” from being used in…
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Matt Husser
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WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden was reportedly startled late last night after he was unexpectedly visited by his own ghost,…
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Dan Rice
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WASHINGTON — In a reversal of his previous pledge not to interfere with the sentencing, President Joe Biden has pardoned…
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