BUTLER, Penn. — Trump campaign officials confirmed that the attempted assassination of the former President this past weekend resulted in a minor injury to his…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — A skeleton mistaken for a seasonal decoration at a local library is suspected to be an architectural ploy designed to prevent houseless…
They say that alcohol destroys families. But it’s the only thing keeping mine together. I would know, as someone who is always within arms reach…
LONDON — Longtime royal and purveyor of British tradition Queen Elizabeth could not recall at what point in her life she knighted American rapper and…
NEW ORLEANS — Local man who either looks good for his age or bad for his age Benjamin Button revealed that his political outlook is…
God works in mysterious ways. That’s why I don’t question God’s plan for me. I merely pick and choose from the parts of it that…
WASHINGTON — United States Capitol building ghost, Josiah H. Hubbard, confirmed that he feels a cold chill through his very being every time Kentucky Senator…
PITTSBURGH — The latest single by local punk band Dog Sniper used a sample of a “NBC Nightly News” telecast in a transparent attempt to…
LOS ANGELES — The director of an upcoming first person shooter set in Dallas during the 1960s, Shoot JFK in the Fucking Head, has insisted…
ST. LOUIS — Time stood still today for local man Hayden Reed, who publicly identified as a “Democratic Socialist” and prayed his words would be…
The two-party system in U.S politics is fucked. So what are we going to do about it? Vote? Protest? Look, the organizing tactics of the…
NEW ORLEANS — A group of 30 to 40 fans moshing at a recent Green Day concert were allegedly paid to be there by liberal…
CHICAGO — Singer/guitarist of political punk band Numb Chomsky and Global Political Systems Ph.D. candidate Miles “The Throat” Fitzsimmons realized during last night’s rehearsal that…
SEATTLE — Fans at a local music venue were outraged last night when headlining act Sociecide interrupted one of their signature political tirades to play songs…
BOSTON — A college party underwent a sudden change in mood late last night after the host’s iPod Shuffle launched into a lecture by renowned…
