WINDSOR, Conn — Local terrible cousin Terry Reynolds made everyone uncomfortable at his family’s annual Memorial Day BBQ by loudly declaring that “Woke is dead!”…
Trump Campaign Confirms He Was Hit By Four Shots But His Love For America Acted As Bullet Proof Vest
Trump Campaign Confirms He Was Hit By Four Shots But His Love For America Acted As Bullet Proof Vest
BUTLER, Penn. — Trump campaign officials confirmed that the attempted assassination of the former President this past weekend resulted in a minor injury to his…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — A skeleton mistaken for a seasonal decoration at a local library is suspected to be an architectural ploy designed to prevent houseless…
They say that alcohol destroys families. But it’s the only thing keeping mine together. I would know, as someone who is always within arms reach…
LONDON — Longtime royal and purveyor of British tradition Queen Elizabeth could not recall at what point in her life she knighted American rapper and…
NEW ORLEANS — Local man who either looks good for his age or bad for his age Benjamin Button revealed that his political outlook is…
God works in mysterious ways. That’s why I don’t question God’s plan for me. I merely pick and choose from the parts of it that…
WASHINGTON — United States Capitol building ghost, Josiah H. Hubbard, confirmed that he feels a cold chill through his very being every time Kentucky Senator…
PITTSBURGH — The latest single by local punk band Dog Sniper used a sample of a “NBC Nightly News” telecast in a transparent attempt to…
LOS ANGELES — The director of an upcoming first person shooter set in Dallas during the 1960s, Shoot JFK in the Fucking Head, has insisted…
ST. LOUIS — Time stood still today for local man Hayden Reed, who publicly identified as a “Democratic Socialist” and prayed his words would be…
The two-party system in U.S politics is fucked. So what are we going to do about it? Vote? Protest? Look, the organizing tactics of the…
NEW ORLEANS — A group of 30 to 40 fans moshing at a recent Green Day concert were allegedly paid to be there by liberal…
CHICAGO — Singer/guitarist of political punk band Numb Chomsky and Global Political Systems Ph.D. candidate Miles “The Throat” Fitzsimmons realized during last night’s rehearsal that…
SEATTLE — Fans at a local music venue were outraged last night when headlining act Sociecide interrupted one of their signature political tirades to play songs…