On our way to complete an interview for a deadline that passed a couple weeks ago, Johnny 5-0 decided to do their duty as fascist…
ORLANDO — Peter Hannah, creator of the classic Nickelodeon series “CatDog,” announced last week that Cat is in fact the one who pisses and shits…
Much like TV, ice cream, and porn, pets exist solely to distract us from the inevitability of death. Well, until they die. Then our mortality…
NEW YORK — Local gamer Jared Kalashnik reportedly told friends today that he just cannot understand the appeal of Pokémon Snap, despite taking over 4,000…
Some people say a dog is a man’s best friend, but with a little maneuvering and a stolen prescription pad, a dog can also be…
Declawing an animal is a barbaric and sadistic practice and mainstream society is finally starting to take notice. Some states, including Jersey, have even gone…
Time to take a fucking stand, people. You are either a dog person: loyal, social, and agreeable. Or you are a cat person: independent, reserved,…
It’s time for our Adopt-a-Pet post of the week, in which we highlight wonderful pets that are looking for their forever home. This week, we…
NORTHERN HEMISPHERE — Chaos erupted during a Fourth of July fireworks celebration held by the animal inhabitants of the newly settled New Texas Island, sources…
Let’s get one thing straight. I didn’t come here to make friends. I’m here for one thing and one thing only. I’m your goddamn service…
SEATTLE — In a late-night revelation, local anime fan Jason Meyers reportedly decided to subtly let people know he is a Cowboy Bebop fan by…
NEW YORK — After a long battle with apathy, local musician Peter Costello was forced to put his pet project VeRu to rest earlier today.…