CHICAGO — Local punk Jacob Brown found his net worth has skyrocketed now that drink tickets are redeemable again at reopened venues across the city,…
When my Uber driver arrived at my home without the drink that I ordered to go with my meal, the drink I PAID for and…
COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out of retirement and help as…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with close friend Collin Montrose due…
UKIAH, Calif. — Local showgoer Ernie Morales lamented the fact he is almost certainly contracting the coronavirus delta variant while attending an avant-garde noise show…
ATHENS, Ga. — Touring COVID strain Delta Variant surprised showgoers after being added to a sold-out show at local punk venue The Tribune late last…
LOS ANGELES — Fans of the Misfits were thrilled yesterday as the original lineup of the highly influential punk band reunited to verbally harass a…
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local man and filthy roommate Mickey Bedford was caught running the sink for a few short seconds on Tuesday evening in…
Jacksonville, Fla. — Local part-time dad Deryk Hoyt was disappointed by how far from completion his half-sleeve was after spending his Child Tax Credit at…
DAVENPORT, Iowa — Members of controversial nu metal outfit Trapt were reportedly overjoyed to play their first show in front of an audience in four…
THORNVILLE, Ohio — Local Juggalo Andreas “Wicked Kush” Fleming is ignoring all CDC recommendations while attending this year’s Gathering of the Juggalos and choosing to…
GEORGE, Wash. — Dave Matthews Band is raising alarm among epidemiologists and everyone who isn’t in a fraternity or sorority as they continue to play…
SAN FRANCISCO — New COVID-19 mutation the Gamma Variant garnered attention with a cryptic tweet telling followers it had “big” plans for fall and winter,…
OKLAHOMA CITY, Okla. — The lineup poster for this summer’s Megapalooza included a tiny disclaimer below rows of band names warning attendees that the festival…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Newly vaccinated woman Denise Adame took advantage of her inoculated status late yesterday afternoon to step outside and take in the fresh,…