Look, I’ll say it plain and simple: it doesn’t matter why I already went through your supposed “lifetime supply” of Hormel Chili that I won,…
You know what really pisses me off? When some lifeless, faceless corporation uses the whole “we’re like a family” thing to sell their sense of…
If you want to know why there’s little to no originality in the entertainment we consume, look no further than your local movie theater and…
Everything was chill. I sat with my Grandma, knocking back a five-year-old tin of Christmas popcorn and flipping through family albums. As I admired a…
Words like “hope” and “optimism” have been going around a lot the last few weeks, but if you ask me, we’re just settling. Sure, it’s…
I want you all to ignore any association you have and just focus on these names in and of themselves: Is Weezer a cool name?…
Dear friends, family, and colleagues, It would seem that my most recent post on Facebook has caused a lot of confusion, and dare I say…
Boy, we sure are having a great time at this deathcore concert, aren’t we? These drop A tunings and inhaled death growls are really pumping…
I think it’s fair to say that We Are Scientists is a great band but every time I listen to them there’s this feeling that…
I had an extremely toxic relationship with social media for years, but I’ve finally whittled it down to just one perfectly curated Instagram consisting of…
Well, this was certainly unexpected. Here I am, a relatively law-abiding American citizen, trying to submit my application for a simple “License To Ill” only…
What an incredible dinner party this is! I’ve never been in such a gorgeous yet oddly period non-specific mansion before, and definitely not one in…
Like millions of Americans, you have probably been enthralled with the recent wave of fairly weird-looking celebrities being labeled as ‘Hot Rodent Men.’ Look, I…
I’ve never felt like I fit in with the rest of my family. I’m a childless adult, I’m agnostic, I’m not a sports guy and…
It seems like wherever you look these days, we’re surrounded by people who’ve never known a minute of strife, let alone minor inconvenience. How nice…