WASHINGTON — President Trump reversed this morning an Obama-era policy limiting the amount of guitar solos butt rock bands could include in a single song,…
WASHINGTON — The Environmental Protection Agency, in connection with the Trump Administration, announced yesterday that it is rolling back Obama-era restrictions on where Virginia-based thrash…
LOS GATOS, Calif. — Early yesterday morning, a sword-wielding Barack Obama interrupted a meeting of high-ranking Netflix executives while wearing a tight leather trench coat,…
AMERICA — Americans across the nation are struggling to remember their previous holiday traditions as they prep for their first Christmas season after eight years…
WASHINGTON — White House Press Secretary Jay Carney spent the week stationed at Kinko’s printing flyers for “the biggest rager to ever take place in…
WASHINGTON — President Barack Obama stunned the nation today by promising to pardon all edge breakers before leaving office in January 2017. “I know this…
WASHINGTON D.C. – After cell phone footage of Malia Obama, codename “Radiance,” enjoying herself at Lollapalooza surfaced online, 38-year-old Secret Service Agent Ted Hogan began…
WASHINGTON – After spending the last 15 years squatting in the White House, a 35-year-old anarchist crust punk known only as “W∅rm” was sworn into…
DETROIT – President Obama’s desire to close Guantanamo Bay took center stage at CNN’s Republican debate tonight, with each of the candidates asserting the importance…
WASHINGTON – Members of Congress were called to a special session this week to tighten regulations on what can be considered “New York Hardcore” following the…
WASHINGTON – After decades of debate and countless failed attempts, politicians on both sides of the aisle have finally united to pass a federal ban…
