WASHINGTON – An audit of Supreme Court merchandise sales revealed that Justice Clarence Thomas pocketed roughly half the proceeds while failing to disclose said income…
PURGATORY — The afterlife faced a major shake-up after the Angel of Death was placed on administrative leave for his failure to kill GOP Senator…
LOCK HAVEN, Pa. — Residents of the central Pennsylvania town of Lock Haven are freaking the fuck out that a new Panera Bread location is…
TAMPA, Fla. — Registered sex offender Owen Blevins repeated a familiar process of going door to door in his local suburb, but this time it…
LONDON – Prince Andrew, Duke of York, is reportedly pestering the entire staff of Buckingham Palace to ask if his mother’s royal funeral will be…
SAN ANTONIO — Local punk Issah Rooney is taking advantage of Governor Abbott’s cruel and inhumane policy of busing migrants to northern US cities by…
LONDON — Upper-level managers at a clandestine facility specializing in removing blood from young children and pumping it into Queen Elizabeth II to keep her…
AUSTIN,Texas. —Beloved holiday superstore Spirit Halloween quickly moved into the vacant spot where InfoWars once stood after Alex Jones was forced out due to financial…
AUSTIN, Texas — America’s premier far-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones alleged that the Sandy Hook defamation trial, for which he paid $45 million in punitive…
WASHINGTON — Leaders within the Democratic National Committee are furious that President Joe Biden took action in a way that somewhat helped disadvantaged citizens, a…
PALM BEACH, Fla. –The Federal Bureau of Investigation recovered stacks of highly-classified nuclear weapons documents with “Hillary Clinton” written in childlike scrawls on them from…
GLENSIDE, Pa. — Pennsylvania senate candidate John Fetterman vows to support universal healthcare for scene veterans, old heads, and all the real motherfuckers in the…
WASHINGTON — U.S. Marshals discovered a mysterious package outside of the Supreme Court which was later revealed to be an Edible Arrangement sent from Taliban…
There’s no denying that we live in a time of conflict. At no point in living memory has this country’s fault lines of class, race,…
We’ve all seen bad movies. Some are just plain bad and some are so bad they become good. But then there’s this third category —…