Cory Cousins
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CLEVELAND — Recently signed hardcore band Pain on Fire discovered this afternoon that their recent promotional photoshoot was marred by…
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Patrick Coyne
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GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — The guitarist and songwriter of a popular metal band was accused yesterday of using excessive umlauts…
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Dan Kozuh
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MOLINE, Ill. — Touring death metal band Spoilation reportedly wasted little time before eating drummer Vic Walsh after their tour…
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Cory Cousins
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AMSTERDAM — The life-long dream of American metal band Goat Machine came true last week when they finally performed a…
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Ted Pillow
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ALLENTOWN, Penn. — Metal diehard James Allen used the online tax filing platform TaxSlayer yesterday to “eviscerate, desecrate, and properly…
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Mark Hassenfratz
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Listen here, poser. You think you know this band? Really? What, you started listening to them six weeks ago? And…
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Rob Steinberg
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CITY OF DIS, Hell — 78 percent of demons across the Netherworld experienced feelings of low self-esteem and body issues…
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Mark Turner
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LOS ANGELES — Metallica’s live concert and online merch booth is now the world’s 32nd largest economy by GDP following…
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Goodrich Gevaart
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PHOENIX — Shock rocker Alice Cooper broke ground today on his new Republican-exclusive, goth-themed golf course, “Welcome to My Putt-mare,”…
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Ted Pillow
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LOS ANGELES — Prolific metal guitarist Buckethead finally revealed the origin of his nickname today at a press conference, settling…
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