Sarah Cortina
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NEW YORK — New York Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani revealed that plans for his mayoral term will include providing shitty local…
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danerice
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Well New York City, you’ve had a good run, but it’s clearly over. The “people” (liberals) have spoken, and Zohran…
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Joe Rumrill
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WILLOW WIND HOLLOW — The animal population of a wooded glen was less than surprised when their mayoral election results…
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“It's a beautiful day, the beaches are open and people are having a wonderful time!” To celebrate one of the…
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Devin Spiegelberg
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Here at the Hard Times, we’re always willing to help out our fans, and today we’ll be responding to a…
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Dianne Nora
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NEW YORK — Undecided voter Tom O’Reilly is still not sure if any of his top candidates in the city’s…
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Ed Smith
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NEWCITY02 — Voters have apparently grown tired of living in a featureless meadow, as a first-time runner has secured a…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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EL PASO, Texas — Convicted pedophile Marcus Fleming killed two birds with one stone earlier today when he canvassed for…
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Mark Bouchard
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CHICAGO — Democratic presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg admitted yesterday that, in times of quiet reflection, he often daydreams about ordering…
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Parker Newman
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BANGOR, Maine — Mayor Chesty the French Bulldog enacted a city-wide ban today on fireworks ahead of Independence Day festivities,…
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