NEW YORK — Local man Roland Peachneck was reportedly shocked and disappointed that his “loser” roommates had nothing better to do on a Saturday night…
VATICAN CITY — Local personal pizza and source of calories for millions, Mama Celeste, was canonized into sainthood during a small ceremony earlier today and…
AMES, Iowa — Somewhat recently vaccinated woman Teresa Faison entered her third week of using the potential side effects of the Pfizer inoculation to avoid…
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local failure Max Kugler was reportedly sighted practicing his ollies at the Haledon Skate Park on Saturday night in a last-ditch…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Local punk and 31-year-old adult man Kenny Whalen remains blissfully unaware that he is the Whalen family’s cautionary tale, concerned sources confirmed.…
LOS ANGELES — The upcoming fourth installment of the popular “Matrix” movies is expected to shatter records for dumb, pseduo-philisophical discussions in dorm rooms across…
WASHINGTON — House and Senate Republicans agreed today that, rather than issue additional stimulus payments, Americans would be better off investing their previous stimulus in…
SAN DIEGO — Completely unknown punk band the Ass Blasters ended their underwhelming 30-year career to absolutely no fanfare, according to venue and bar staff…