WARWICK, R.I. — Local punk Rich Stoklasa successfully delayed prematurely ejaculating during intercourse with his wife by thinking about every later-era Black Flag album, sources…
In a world where everyone can just yap into the voice memos app on their iPhone and attempt to become famous, it’s only natural that…
WEST HARTFORD, Conn. — A previously too-cool-for-school music snob is reportedly just inebriated enough to loudly appreciate AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” playing…
Gift cards can feel both like limitless free money but they also seem to evaporate as soon as you enter the store. Unfortunately the grandparent…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Jeff Pierson is allegedly “frustrated beyond belief” after his recent autism diagnosis led friends and family to assume he unironically…
AUSTIN, Texas — Governor Greg Abbott deployed Texas National Guard troops to combat the rapidly spreading wildfires in the state’s Panhandle, according to his press…
The Killers are one of the single biggest rock acts of the this millennium, a powerhouse band propelled by the incredible showmanship and charisma of…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — A bombshell study recently revealed a Conservative think tank spent $40 million trying to find a way to frame Girl Scout cookies…
The foundation of any good marriage is communication, which is why my wife and I text each other multiple times throughout the day. Whether I’m…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local priest Pastor Stephen Kramer is reportedly suffering a crisis of faith after hearing Christian ska band Skadom and Gomhorna play for his…
There is nothing worse than bumping into an acquaintance and completely forgetting their name. And yes, before you even say anything, it actually is worse…
Love him or hate him, it’s hard to deny that Quentin Tarantino is one of the most influential auteur filmmakers of the last 30-plus years.…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local centrist Harris Miller revealed that he doesn’t care who wins the 2024 presidential election as long as each candidate has a…
Good evening, my name is Sam, and I will be your server tonight. Before we get started, I have a few specials off the menu.…
LOS ANGELES — Gnull Industries recently announced a new fire alarm that guarantees total room evacuation by blaring songs from pop rock band Imagine Dragons,…