MONTAGUE, Mass. — Local man Jack Callahan is reportedly on day two of trying to type his overly complicated Disney+ password using the remote for…
INDIANAPOLIS — Local man, and Duolingo enthusiast, Brandon Cole horrified friends and acquaintances gathered at an Italian restaurant when he attempted to order food for…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local record collector Eliza Vernon reported being distraught and is demanding a refund after the owner of Infinity Vinyl failed to compliment…
DUBAI — The COP28 Climate Summit concluded with a landmark agreement to phase out fossil fuels under the condition that big oil executives be allowed…
SANTA FE, N.M. — Local man Scott Bernaki, 34, is currently contemplating the series of life choices which led to him deciding to get a…
Ugh, what a bummer. That local vegan restaurant in my neighborhood closed down even though I always thought about going there. This really sucks because…
SMYRNA, Del. — High school metal band Drunk Blacksmith made an adolescent pact that if when they’re all “as old and unappealing as stale dogshit”…
Sure, I’m a foodie. I’ve dined at some of the world’s finest restaurants, I know my way around the kitchen, and I even made bread…
LOWELL, Mass. — Sober punk Michael McDuff impressed music fans and mental health professionals alike with his ability to listen to Celtic punk band Dropkick…
NEW YORK — Spotify dismissed CFO Paul Vogel when a video of him dropping a dollar into a subway busker’s guitar case came to light,…
DETROIT — Troubled teen Liam Coogan, 15, reportedly latched onto clueless middle-aged scene regular Craig Thompson as a father figure, slightly mortified sources confirm. “I…
SAN BERNARDINO, Calif. — Local eco-punk Teddy Vasquez recently explained the benefits of green energy to a carload of friends while tossing half-a-dozen cigarette butts…
DENTON, Texas — Members of the local emo band Bike Seat revealed a Sam’s Club membership is the only reason why their longtime bassist has…
I’ll admit, gambling isn’t easy. And take it from me, the guy who spent every cent he had feeding a penny slot machine for 14…
WARWICK, R.I. — Longtime Dave & Buster’s customer and man who’s had a real rough go of it lately Geoff Pond was shocked when he…