Hey you. Yeah, you. Do you remember me? I hope you do. I hope my face is burned into your memory, and every attempt at…
ASTORIA, N.Y. — Local woman Jessica Hayfeather was recently discovered at the bottom of her gargantuan tote bag after a frantic seven-minute long search, confirmed…
TALLAHASSEE, Tenn. — The Tallahassee Police Department is in chaos due to nearly every officer requesting time off to attend an upcoming Five Finger Death…
I’ve always been a reasonable guy. I don’t believe in supernatural forces or little green aliens. But some things just can’t be explained. The deepest…
LONDON – Scott Devine and Ian Martin Allison wowed bass players across the globe with their new masterclass on how to shove a refrigerator-sized Ampeg…
You’re starting to feel adrift. What do you want to do with your life? Should you start a podcast? It seems like everyone in your…
PHILADELPHIA — Avid Iron & Wine fan Kyle Bennet was recently seen panting in exhaustion after listening to a moderately-paced modern rock song, sources report.…
LOS ANGELES — Popular clothing manufacturer JNCO announced a steep drop in their stock price following the sudden announcement that the 2025 addition of Sick…
LOS ANGELES — Members of Weezer expressed increasing annoyance towards lead singer Rivers Cuomo due to his insistence on referring to their tour bus as…
When it comes to our parents, many thoughts and feelings may come to mind. “Are they proud of me? Am I living up to their…
WASHINGTON — House minority leader and top Democrat Hakeem Jeffries asked Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu if they are “still friends” following Donald Trump’s presidential…
BOULDER, Colo. — An explosive dispute over genre semantics broke out at the Thanksgiving dinner of the three-generation metalhead Reeder family regarding the disputed progressive…
The holidays are a difficult time for many people, but especially for losers who no one loves or even thinks about. For a lot of…
HORNERSTOWN, N.J. — Serial killer and torture pioneer Jigsaw was reportedly left horrified today after his unwilling Thanksgiving guests quickly devoured a massive turducken he…
Luxury car manufacturer Jaguar unveiled a new look in hopes of expanding their appeal to the tiny percentage of people who identify as gender-fluid Gen…