WASHINGTON — California Rep. Adam Schiff announced earlier today via livestream from the Democratic Party Twitter account that his party now has nearly enough tweets…
Hi everybody, allow me introduce myself. I’m the guy at every hardcore show who freaks out if you bump into him. So DON’T FUCKING ASK…
TACOMA, Wash. — Despite his rigorous touring schedule, guitarist Marcus Lorenez still finds time to be an “inconsiderate and neglectful” member of his household, according…
There is absolutely no feeling like attending a small, intimate show. How many times have you gotten into a great band, only to go to…
DENVER — Everyone at the Death Head show last night definitely noticed you were there all by yourself, and it was “pretty fucking pathetic,” according…
PHOENIX — Netflix has ordered three separate hour-long, stand-up comedy specials from local dad Bob Cecil after his hilarious comedy performance during a family dinner…
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — Newly-formed cover band The Good Beats is having second thoughts about playing the afternoon wedding reception of Helen and Juan Garcia,…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Doug McLadden declared his allegiance this morning to the original, three-piece line-up of classic punk outfit Cardinal Malaise, a band he started…
LOS ANGELES — Dreamworks Records executive Michael Sawchuk announced earlier today that the label has dropped nü-metal band Papa Roach in favor of a more…
LOS ANGELES — A vintage ’70s-era McIntosh MC2100 tube amplifier, as well as several other priceless pieces of music gear in the residence of Bill…
DAVIS, Calif. — Sue and Phil Atherton were caught exchanging furtive glances last night in anticipation of the coitus scheduled for while their son is…
LOS ANGELES — Glam-rock hitmakers Buckcherry are releasing a new double-disc concept album this fall, centered around a fictional protagonist receiving a blowjob, confirmed sources…
SPRING HILL, Mo. — Local roommate Brad Windsor returned home today with a fresh tattoo despite claims of being “completely broke,” according to reports from…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Twin toddlers Gabriel and Mary Windham were accused this morning of abandoning their very attractive mother alone in her car, according to…
Rescue Workers Called to Free Over 900 Instagram Users Caught In Thirst Trap
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Instagram officials were forced to call in rescue workers this past weekend after a Thirst Trap claimed over 900 users, according…