SANTA FE SPRINGS, Calif. — Hundreds of concertgoers came forward this week, accusing the famed Warped Tour festival of enticing them to a litter-strewn field…
RICHWOOD, W. Va. — Local punk Jesse Hallenbeck asked her family today what time Christmas dinner is supposed to go on at her grandma’s house…
SALEM, Mass. — The parents of goth teenager Thomas Sullivan are uncertain how to properly stuff their son’s fishnet Christmas stocking, sources close to the…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Greg and Marjorie Lamothe have begun the painstaking preparations for their son Jake, a philosophy major, to return home for the holidays,…
BALTIMORE — Infamous punk house “Crazz Manor” in Baltimore’s Waverly neighborhood was upgraded yesterday from a punk house to a crack house, drawing mixed reactions…
LA LUZ, N.M. — Zoe Rivas was reunited last night with her family’s premium cable subscription immediately upon returning to her parents’ house for a…
CINCINNATI — Local father and metalhead Conrad Dungy has forbidden his children from opening up any mosh pits until Christmas morning, sources close to the…
AMERICA — Americans across the nation are struggling to remember their previous holiday traditions as they prep for their first Christmas season after eight years…
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — Local man Mike Soder failed yesterday to share a reasonable conversation with his tattoo artist, running out of things to talk…
BOSTON — Boston Symphony Orchestra patrons were dismayed last night when a “complete poser” in attendance clapped after the first movement of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony,…
LODI, N.J. — A highly anticipated Christmas album from punk legends The Misfits consists primarily of songs about Halloween, multiple confused listeners confirmed. The album,…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump lashed out today during an early morning Tweet storm, panning left-leaning media outlets across the country over their positive coverage…
TACOMA, Wash — A 9-volt battery was found dead inside a wah-wah pedal last night shortly after noise-rock band Necro Echo entered their rehearsal space,…
WOODLAND, Calif. — Emerson Middle School teacher Erol Raybould inconspicuously cuffed his shirt sleeves this morning in hopes that his American History students would notice…
NEW YORK — VICE staff members were reportedly saddened by the recent closing of celebrated DIY space Huevos Ranch, which will be converted into a…