Patrick Coyne
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DENVER — Your boyfriend of two years claimed yesterday, in a “totally gross” and “most definitely insincere” showering of affection,…
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Lana Schwartz
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CHICAGO — Local Pavement fan Nathan Matthews added Pavement lyrics to his Tinder profile yesterday, hoping to attract a woman…
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Stephen Bell
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TOLEDO, Ohio — Local man Joseph Whitt described moments ago his relationship with hardcore tankie and politically communist girlfriend Stephanie…
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Lana Schwartz
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MASPETH, N.Y. — Skull Valley frontman Jeremy Cesiro is worried his underage girlfriend would be put in danger by her…
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Laura McCarthy
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DAYTON, Ohio — Local romantic Colin Novak finally proposed anal to his longtime girlfriend Amanda Hale yesterday at the couple’s…
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Kevin Flynn
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BROCKTON, Mass. — Noting the fact that she keeps falling behind to the edge of the screen and dying repeatedly, local…
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Mark Roebuck
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SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Recent sexual partner Nathan Stenhouse has released an apology for his unacceptably short load time during last…
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NEW YORK — Local man Marc Ramsey has baked a life-size sourdough girlfriend to combat his quarantine-induced loneliness, concerned sources…
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SEATTLE — A new model from the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation at the University of Washington shows that…
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Sweep picking is the hardest, gnarliest, most impressive technique a man can do on a guitar. I can’t tell you…
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