I’ve heard my fair share of criticism from my bandmates over the years. They say that I’m “too moody.” That I’m an “unreliable asshole.” That…
Sure, Drum Machines Can Keep a Beat, But They’ll Never Replicate My Profound Lack of Professionalism
True, by the time you finish this article many of these drummers will be dead or replaced. But as of this moment, all 50 are…
WALLINGFORD, Conn. — A blossoming romance wilted last night after Ty Baldwin, lead singer of local punk outfit Gashmaggot, called his new girlfriend by his…
SHEBOYGAN, Wis. — Local doom metal legend Ted Halverson, the skinsman for classic doom outfits such as Snore and Prophet Of Emptiness, recently admitted that…
YUMA, Ariz. — Local mathcore drummer Elmore Verrichek is exceedingly humiliated at his inability to master the rhythms of an arcade whack-a-mole machine, sources confirmed…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — The entire state of California experienced a sudden and significant shortage of printer paper after Josh Freese attempted to print an…
BENSALEM, Pa. – New Rush tribute band Tom Tom Sawyer hopes to set themselves apart from the competition by being composed of drummers exclusively, sources…
WICHITA, Kan. — Local teenager Denise Draymond’s uncontrollable leg bouncing and foot tapping is catching the attention of multiple people who see potential in her…
HONESDALE, Pa. — The drummer of melodic hardcore band Goofus Eats Gallant was reportedly chafed when his philistine bandmates barbarically chatted as he diligently practiced…
PHILADELPHIA — Local musician Tommy Petro, drummer and backup vocalist for metalcore band The Song of Sisyphus, admitted he feels the same sense of awkwardness…
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Following Ramming Speed’s opening set last night at Uncle Ditty’s Harmony Lounge, the drummer for the band was seen wallowing beneath the…
CINCINNATI, Ohio — Four songs into a set by local band Sewer Grates, drummer Ryan Richards walked off stage stating that the “vibes were off,”…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Drummer Brent Englewood of local punk band Crows and Ravens was uncharacteristically dejected after dropping one of his sticks while performing in…
LOS ANGELES — Former Blink 182 member Matt Skiba frantically searched “how to play drums” upon news that Travis Barker’s hand surgery would postpone the…
WEST LONG BRANCH, N.J. – A shocking new poll shows that public taste recently shifted from wanting guitarists to put their foot on a monitor…