So you’re on a sobriety kick, I get it, we’ve all been there. Or, maybe you’re straight edge, haven’t even tasted the sweet release of…
FAIRFAX, Va. — Local sixth-grader Kenny Jenkins suddenly took up vaping in hopes of charming his older brother’s sex robot, sources close to the modern-day…
You recently just met the person of your dreams. They’re hot and they make eye contact with you. Every time you think about them you…
LINCOLN, Mass. — Local homeowner Shauneese Fortenberry was surprised to receive a “punk” singing telegram yesterday that left the entire front of her house in…
FREDERICK, Md. — Local single man and self-proclaimed hopeless romantic Noah Reveis has at last identified what he described as “the perfect” song to close…
PATCHOGUE, N.Y. — Local inebriated man Kevin Donaghue drank a few sips of water before bed moments ago in an effort to dilute the many…
NAPA, Calif. — Local woman Amanda Perez believes that, for the first time in her life, she most likely has a decent shot with actor…
UMTANUM, Wash. — Local single man Cameron Barrett admitted today that he’s been patiently waiting for his high school crush to get divorced so he…
GREEN BAY, Wisc. — Local punk and BurntBridge frontman Zach Maron live-streamed an intimate acoustic show on Instagram late last night with the belief that…
Back in the Spring, when everyone had Ted Bundy Fever, I had just started working at this new office. I really wanted to fit in,…
RENO, Nev. — Sweaty and bumbling 16-year-old Skyler Donovan attempted to hide in a locker today next to his crush Christina Selig while dodging bullets…