WASHINGTON — Legendary hardcore punk band Minor Threat surprised fans by announcing a new outtakes EP from the “Out of Step” recording sessions featuring a…
DETROIT — Punk rock loving octogenarian Edith Bettencourt placed a pan of her fresh, warm crack cocaine on her kitchen windowsill to cool, according to…
If you are looking to quit smoking crack, be it for the first or three hundredth time, congratulations! Quitting smoking crack is a process millions…
MIAMI — A small group of 19th Century time travelers is reportedly very disappointed with the lack of readily available cocaine in modern times, according…
“The Wire” is considered the greatest show of all time, besides all those other shows that are also considered the greatest of all time. Despite…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Gamer Brian Kology was disappointed after his attempt at livening up a rooftop party by bringing his Nintendo Switch along resulted in…
CARBONDALE, Ill. — Tired wife Ruby McDermott was reportedly “not in the mood” for sexual activity this evening, instead asking her husband to just lick…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — Seminal crust punk band Leftöver Crack canceled their upcoming Midwestern tour today when drummer Donny Morris missed the freight train door…
Oh shit you guys, this is not good. I’m fucked. I pitched this article where I would smoke crack and write all about what happened, but…